ah yes, the holidays
The holiday season is here amiright folks? That is great, right? Everyone loves Christmas and Thanksgiving. Believe it or not, I love Christmas. People are always surprised when I say that. They think I am lying. But I have always been a Christmas guy. I love the tree, the snow, and the feeling that comes with it. In my head Christmas looks like an old movie, a little worn out and nostalgic.
Growing up the actual day of Christmas or any holiday rather was usually rough. I had step parents on both sides, which meant bouncing between houses all day. My mom’s family, my stepdad’s family, then my dad’s house, then his family, then my stepmom’s family. By the end, you wanted to blow your own dick off. Too many arguments, too many awkward conversations, too much mediocre food unless (my dad cooked).
Thanksgiving was the same thing. Too many meals, too many families. As an adult now, the holidays are about my son. Seeing him excited makes it worth it, but with that not happening this year, its just another day off for me, which honestly feels like the best part. You don’t need to prove anything by showing up everywhere. Sometimes staying home is the only sane choice.
Thanksgiving at this point is a wash. Enough with turkey already. Your mom’s food is not amazing. Your dad is not a great cook. Your aunt did not bring the world’s best stuffing. She got the recipe online and fucked it up. Nobody seasons anything. Smoked turkey is not good and your dad’s Traeger stinks. I’d rather go to Boston Market than partake in those mediocre meals. Hey, I’m sure your uncle has some great stories and your mom’s nice. Sure.
Friendsgiving. This is where everyone gets mad, but fuck you. I’m with the great Ron Bennington on this: Friendsgiving used to be for people who could not go home for the holiday. Simple. You get together with others who are stuck in town. Now it is three different parties where everyone gets drunk and pretends they can cook. If you can go home to your family’s Thanksgiving, you do not need a Friendsgiving. It’s gotten out of control.
You all complain that Target puts up Christmas decorations in August, but you are part of the problem. You’ve drawn the holiday out way longer with all your little, parties. You have multiple Friendsgivings and end up consuming double or triple the groceries while actual families and their kids can barely afford one meal. You want to make Friendsgiving meaningful? Invite people who dont have a place to go. Feed someone who actually needs it. Do something for the homeless at a shelter instead of drinking mimosas and posting it online.
Enjoy the holiday without being an overindulgent glutton you heathens. You do not need to have a “Friends-Christmas” either. Fuck off.
Anyway, I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving. Cheers.
