Mahatma Gandhi once said, "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
As a kid, serving other people felt more like a punishment than a virtue. After all, you spend the first 18 years of your life being told what to do. My experience was no different. I was constantly doing things for my aunts and my mom, leaving very little time for myself.
I vividly remember getting dragged to a soup kitchen in East Cleveland several times a week to help feed and preach to the homeless. At the time, I thought it was a waste of my precious teenage hours, and if I'm being honest, I was probably scared to be in the same room as some of those people. Looking back, I couldn't have been a more selfish little shit.
My mom forcing me to scoop green beans onto someone's plate, someone who was simply grateful to have a warm meal, taught me some of the most important lessons of my life.
Service to others is at the heart of being human. For a lot of us, especially in hospitality, it's everything. It's why we do what we do. We spend so much of our lives taking care of other people that we forget to take care of ourselves. That's something that's been deeply ingrained in me.
My parents met while my dad was the executive chef at the Bond Court Hotel in Cleveland, Ohio. My mom, naturally, was a server. If you've worked in this industry, you already know how that story goes.
For most of my life, I took those early lessons for granted. I regret not giving more. I regret not listening to the stories of the men and women I handed a plate of food to without another thought. Funny how those moments make a hell of a lot more sense years later.
The numbers are hard to ignore. On any given night, more than half a million people in the United States experience homelessness, and millions more struggle with food insecurity. That's not just a statistic. Those are real people. People who could use a little kindness from the rest of us.
I used to have a twisted view of helping others. I thought it was selfish. Like people were saying, "Look at me. I'm helping. Aren't I fucking amazing?"
What a shitty way to look at it.
I'm far from perfect, and I know that. But since my son was born, and since getting sober, I've felt this pull to give back. To help people without expecting anything in return. To get back to the lessons my mom tried so hard to teach me all those years ago. Giving to other people is one of the least selfish things you can do.
People need people. We all need each other.
Life isn't just about what you accomplish. It's about the people you leave behind and the impact you had while you were here.
How can I give more? How can I help more?
Just some thoughts to ponder while you're staring at the ceiling waiting for your edible to kick in.
Muhammad Ali said, "Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth."
Keep goin', fuckers.
Kiss.
