validation.
Through my 20s, I was completely hung up on what everyone else thought about me. That need for approval damn near led me to drown in alcoholism. It seemed like the perfect escape. It numbed my insecurities and made it easier to fit in with the crowd. But every morning, waking up with last night's regrets and maybe even vomit on my lip, I'd wonder who I pissed off or what dumb shit I'd done.
That nightmare didn't stop when I hit my 30s. It hung on tight, and looking back, I really didn't have shit to show for those years soaked in booze and anxiety.
I finally kicked the bottle at 34, but getting sober was just the beginning. It took a full year before I started doing the real work. The mental and emotional work that led to some pretty life-changing realizations.
Everything started to shift when I questioned why I was living for trends and other people's opinions. I realized staying true to myself wasn't just good for my creativity. It was necessary for my mental health. The moment I stopped chasing other people's approval and focused on what actually made me happy, my work changed. It stopped feeling like a performance for applause and became an extension of who I am. Genuine, fulfilling, and fun as hell.
That transformation wasn't just about me. It was shaped by every mentor I've ever had. Every one of them left their mark, for better or worse, and helped shape the person and professional I am today. Their lessons led me to the little successes I've had.
But I also noticed something.
A lot of the people I looked up to had all the success in the world and still seemed miserable. Then I'd meet a single mother working two jobs who had more patience, gratitude, and humor than any high-powered executive one stress-induced heart attack away from retirement.
I've learned the hard way that real success and happiness come from within, not from someone else's applause. It's about creating something that means something to you. More often than not, the people who don't look successful by society's standards are the ones who actually have life figured the fuck out.
Looking back, I'm grateful for every part of my journey because it brought me closer to who I actually am. Letting go of the need to please everyone has been one of the most freeing things I've ever done. My creative work is no longer a plea for approval. It's a source of joy, self-expression, and hopefully something that resonates with other people too.
Every day reminds me that the most badass journey is the one that leads you back to yourself. It's never too late to cut the bullshit and redefine success on your own terms.
If there's one thing I've learned, it's this.
Take the time to figure out what actually makes you happy, not what gets the most likes or approval. Set boundaries. Say no to the things that don't align with who you are. Surround yourself with people who lift you up instead of drain you. Try new things without worrying whether you'll be good at them. Celebrate the small wins because they matter more than you think.
If any of this resonates with you, I hope you stop chasing everyone else's version of success and start building your own.
Peace.
